Friday, November 11, 2011
a note fromm mabel
I now I am just a dog but I ned to tel yu peeple what hap-end. Most nites, I stay with Mommee and Daddee. They eet their fud on the grownd and I sneef and sneef and they say, "No, Mabel!" but I can smel wot they are eeting. And then we sit on the cowch very klos and it is so nise and I fall a sleep.
But the other nite, two more peeple came in my house. One was very loud, one smelled gud. They sat on my cowch. Mommee and Daddee sed "No, Mabel!" wen I tryed to say helo by jomping on them, frendly-like. I dont kno why peeple dont undurstand this.
There was gud-smelling fud but they ate it in another room, where the fud was up hi so I culd not see it. No one was payeng attenshun to me, so I likked them and they said "No, Mabel!" So I sneefed arownd the rug and wun corner did not smell like me and that is rong so I peed on it. And Mommee saw this and got very mad and went and got the bad-smelling bottels and paper towals. So I hid. But evereewun kept eeting. Peeple take so long to eet. I eet my fud in like five seconds.
Later on, evereewun sat in the living room and got lowder and lowder. Wun of the new peeple got up too fast and skared me so I ran in a circle and bit my tale and grouled becuse that is wot I do when I am skared. Mommee and Daddee said "No, Mabel!" and gave me a bone to "colm me down." I luv bones.
After many many ours, Mommee finally held me on her lap and I chooed my bone. Evereething was gud. Then, sudenlee, she took the bone away and that was the last strawe. I hated these new peeple, I hated not sitting on my cowch, I hated not to sneef the fud and I just wanted my bone, the wun thing I hav. Whye wuld she do that? I bit Mommee on the hand to tell her this, hard. But she didnt understand. She tryed to take my bone agen, so I had to bite her agen. I felt bad but wot els cood I do?
Mabee now they will think twice before letting peeple come into the house to eet.
(Apologies to George Saunders, author of the much funnier Fox 8)